I’m confused. I don’t really know what to make of my St Johns experience. I’ve been visiting Wellington on a frequent basis for the last 7 years or so. St Johns always looks like a fun time and I wanted in on it. It was one of those primo days in Wellington, barely a breeze with a bright wintery sun. A couple of the coveted outside tables were available but there was no table service and I was alone, my friend having been delayed. I ventured to the bar and ordered a whiskey and dry and a Bloody Mary. I was given the whiskey and dry and a table number and told the Bloody Mary would come out. The table was filthy and having seen customers told to fetch their own cutlery etc I was too intimidated to ask for it to be wiped. So I sat at my filthy table waiting for my drink. And waiting. I killed some time by fetching some napkins and trying to wipe the table. In the end I got up and asked if my drink was coming and was assured it was. And it did. Eventually. After my friend arrived a table in the sun became available so we moved to that. Complete with the previous people’s plates and glasses that weren’t cleared until we asked. It occurred to me then that the staff are perhaps ornamental. Although in fairness one English guy seemed pretty friendly and on to it, he was the exception. The food was ok. The fries were cold. The chicken was a bit dry, but I quite like that because I’m weird. The burger was small but juicy. The charcuterie board was big, good value, but clearly there were olives that needed eating up and we got them all. I had high hopes for St John’s, but I think it’s just a little sad, in need of some tender loving care. Maybe the staff too. We all need a bit of love bombing once in a while, St John’s is no exception.